hi, i'm sarah. i write because otherwise my head becomes too crowded. all of these words amount to moments i've lived or people i've loved.
“with time, i will fade from this universe, but i hope that when you look to the night sky, you see my crooked smile in the crescent moon. hear my laugh as the fireflies dance and glow in the summer heat. feel my embrace in your darkest of hours and know that when i whispered “forever,” i meant i’d never leave. i’ll live on in your heart, as infinite as the stars.” - gabrielle green.
p.s all of my writing is tagged under "original work".
• say hello.with a sleepy whisper
of love and a pocket
full of jolly ranchers
from you, i feel like
i can hold the whole
world in my palm.
you quietly remind me
there is nothing that
we cannot do or say.
that our actions
speak loudly and
resonate in our heads.
you are the quiet
familiarity of coming
home and yet, i am
still amazed by your
wondrous beauty and
ripe plum heart.
i apologise for letting my head
overtake my heart and win first
place in the race to spill words
to your delicate self.
i am more fluent in spewing
hate when frustration bubbles
through my bones and dissolves
my reasoning.
your words of honesty, endless
patience and heart of pure love
remind me that in the end,
i will come home.
i twist the lid and breathe in deeply.
as the scent fills my veins, i become
intoxicated by your half-hearted
promises and float into limbo.
coming down feels distant as
you trace my ribs and mutter
nothings into my ear. i slip from
consciousness and breathe.
as i scratch against my cheeks,
you wait patiently for my chest
to restart it’s rise and fall. you
leave and i fall into dreams.
sometimes, falling apart feels
so deliriously easy when there is someone
to catch you as you trip over scattered insults
and torn connections.
as the humdrum heartbeat and
quiet continuity of everyday life
whirs in our skulls, we forget
that we’re lucky to be alive.
the calamity of us is overwhelming. pressure builds in my temples until invisible strings snap, releasing dead matter into the air around me. rubble settles at my feet and i am silently grasping at stale cells which once held importance and fortitude. as waves lash around me, i sink. my skin prunes under water and i become dead weight, quietly floating amongst seaweed and salt, waiting for a boat to pass and wondering what went wrong.
you are cinnamon and apples strung together haphazardly and left to simmer until the timer rings. i am vanilla ice cream, flecked, balanced and carefully measured, not too little and not too much. as i stretch out my muscles and singsong out of tune, you unwrap me like the smallest of gifts, carefully undoing my creases and running your fingers along the tears in my wrapping. it’s the sweetest of gestures and i cannot help but believe that sometimes the best things in life should be enjoyed too much.
i’m a heartbeat away from breaking, from suffocating in my own screaming and gasping for breath under the nightmares of darker times and lost friends. i am in the sea and you’re the only solid thing for miles. you do not break under my touch nor do you flinch when i grasp out during rushed sentences and damning words. in the silence you bestow, i take long breaths, unravel my fears and swim to the shore. it’s a quiet comedown and i’m a heartbeat away from loving. i know that if you sink, i’ll quite happily drown.
i just want to be there with you, lying in your bed. i’ll place the covers over our heads and we can pretend to be astronauts or cowboys instead. it’s not the complexity of distance that makes me wish so hard but the fact i think our friendship is pretty comparable to some form of art. it’s just simple being with you and it made me wish on stars. darling, that’s so new to me and i think you changed my heart.
all i want is ten seconds to hold you. to breathe in your scent and stop this sinking feeling in my chest. to grasp onto the cotton of your shirt and stop the spinning in my head. to whisper ‘i love you’ into your skin and count the starts above our heads. all i want is ten seconds to hold you but sweetheart, i can’t.
